I shouldn't have done that. I should have just ignored it. Like something I couldn't see it. Like something I can't see. I shouldn't have looked at you at all.
I should have ran away from it. Like nothing happened.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I am really troubled..
My left cup is obviously fuller than my right... and when i wear bra i can feel the difference, it is no longer abt feeling... i can see the diff already..
and so many ppl tell me that's it is alright... cause, it is NORMAL... how normal is that...
neither do i go ard askin ppl abt it...
screw the slimming plan... prev it is alright... after trying to lose weight, my right tits suffer setbacks..
what we could have been, 5:33 AM.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
there's so many heartbreakers around...
i have to learn to be selfish...
i don't care lar, as you all wish; whether u wan to sell the house or wadsoever.. i hv places i can put up with...
yes i know i m one motherfucker too as well.. i lost the necklace a gave me... fuck.
what we could have been, 6:52 AM.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Jan - March was i filming then? i dont quite remember.. but i think yea... (looking for schools)
March commencement of school...
Then in April start my diploma, then same month, i started working, N got into a relationship.. APRIL! a lot happened.. Very much the same through out with millions up and downs, and come
SEPT i was down with H1N1!! November 12, M and I kinda really ended our relationship with a trace of cigarette snub and blood... our cupcakes, cheesecake moments kinda ended.. falling through the pit, was regular life back to drama, tears, tobacco and alcohol.. Meanwhile attended many Nuffnang events, just to see him though.. Realise that it was deepening the wound and he was leaving..
DEC EOY, i start new job, new batch of stitch army, got to know new people, set a new life.. dwelling on no more tears, drama and tobacco... ok less tobacco, more liquor, maybe some drinks.. wasted, i work at clarke quay.. maybe more money too..
2010 - I AM PREPARED TO WASTE MY LIFE, it is last year of adolescences, to fool around before i turn 21 years old.. when you are back i will be 21! I am just aint sure if it will be me that you see in me..the death of the relationship was the death of me.. till i pick it all back...
MAYBE, i will really become DRAMATIC, SELFISH and BITCHY!
like what you say.
but who cares?
CHEERS EVERYONE!!! 2010...
i aint crying.. I SWEAR.
what we could have been, 8:10 AM.
Friday, January 1, 2010
i'm not your mother, you don need to explain to me anything...
It doesn't matter if I am mistaken...
doesn't matter anymore...
you can be mistaken abt A and say all those nasty comments, maybe it is better...
to leave without any baggage...
as ur girl i din deserve to know anything, what more now that we are over..
VALERIE??! i don fucking believe.. when girls continuously start leaving msg on your fb, it means one thing...
and you never understand what it means with the it's not abt who u hang out it, but when it seems that every single one of them is more important than you... even in the nuffnang blogger event at iluma, even the strangers were closer...
what else you want me to say, you just want to watch me die and hurt me a million times...
we broke up when i just ask u to explain abt gg social hse..
fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me...
i am not crying..
what we could have been, 6:17 PM.
Like every other year, misfortune happens to me, last year sean burned my hair with the fire sticks..
this year was another disaster... i have got a chip left tooth, it is like a tingling feel, that you can't exactly see it but it is there... like love, like a heart injured??! you get what i mean... I was texting, when i grab the white and it collided with my front teeth, and i felt sand bits... AND NO! IT's BITS OF MY TOOTH!
The damage this morning: 1/2 bottle of martell and coke-which me and joseph finish before sab is here, white wine (Margaret River Sauvignon Blanc) and 7-up, Red wine (Pinot Noir)..
I thought i would be drunk... NOPE!
we had mcds..
and as we played cards, me and sab cheated, and made Joseph drank like crazy... until he was a little tipsy and head home at 5am....
okay that was new year for you... and joseph was obviously bored by our girl's bitching sessions.. but i am a quidnunc.. now who you blaming..
something was keeping me so sober, it's like you just had to ensure you are more sober than your fren that kinda feel...
what we could have been, 10:23 AM.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
rmb my prev post??! http://aliltoolate.blogspot.com/2009/12/public-announcement-sac-con-woman.html
her lor... she stays opp sac only u go camp there lor..
====
barb n eileen got into accident on xmas.. TAKE CAIRES!
what we could have been, 12:46 PM.
han's with jocelyn, xin yi and gary, we all had hainanese pork chop set meal... we were so full!! the toast is sucky... for every thing else, it wasn't fantastic either... total damage, $39.60.
i kinda like looking down and far, i guess its a place i rather be.. than where i am standing.. maxwell chicken rice... SEDUP!! i love the chilli... homemade kimchi btw, u cant get from the store.. lunch with faustine.. crayfish hor fun!!!! almost the whole hong lim complex is eating it.. u know how good it is la.. cam whore.. has been long since i did it.. on xmas, i spend it with c.bro colleague.. we had gado gado, satay, and rice rolls.. durian rice rolls... =S not appealing to me.. then they have you char kway rice rolls also... and deep fried intestine... loves loves... was playing cards and drinkin at sab's hse with her kor, joseph... the next morning at sab's hse of course.. i'm still red.. haha we headed to china town tgt!! and had sub tgt.. and the next day still stay over at sab!
last xmas?!
what we could have been, 9:30 AM.
there was a time where i love to draw, now i think i kinda lost it all...
LAtely i'm into Fairytales and Eschew... (Eschew=escape.. but i think it's a cuter word for runningaway) Couples and USeless guys... Infactuation and pretty boys! =]
Done with illustration...
my eschew to the unimagined..
ok i use to paste my eye lids until they look so big.. now... i am so so so lazy...
what we could have been, 8:46 AM.
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if what i say or do has anyway is causing/caused u distress..
if you would rather i not contact you..
i will hesitate...
but still go with the flow..
u are leaving after all...
maybe i should start moving on..
and stop calling u dar cause u are not my dar anymore..
so what if i love you, or so you said you do..
we cant be tgt anyway..
its like a forbidden, out castled love..
i don believe in love and fairy tale anymore..
if i ever do get into a relationship.. it's for companionship.. as for love.. maybe that's the last thing you can expect now.. if i do give in... then it's a bonus..
= i am holding back, it's the last thing in my mind.. i know you have somehow drop hints.. but i'm not ready n don't want to hurt anyone.. and neither do i know how to break to u.. you are nice... very nice.. help me carry my bag.. walk me to the station.. we can be close friends... =] at the moment i just hope everything can stay as frens and not drop another bomb..
and no no no! no one can replace my stitch... he is there when i need him... when i eat, sleep, poop, farts, when i am in love and when i am out of love.. hee hee.. he is irreplaceable..
what we could have been, 6:47 AM.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
new laptop.. 4gb ram.. yea.. so what if it is not pink... not that it matters.... so what if i don't have a heart... it doesn't matter... so what if i drink... it doesn't matter.. what matters had left.. not ready to give anyone a heart... i just wan to play ard...
i am just a girl... not a woman.. all i need is beyond time..